Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Who wears a wallet chain?!
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
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