My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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