what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
I think I am morally bankrupt
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
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