Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
