I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Maybe he injected his testicle?
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
