He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
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