the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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