the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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