...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
this will be a night to untag.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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