very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
