Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
