Christians are straight up FREAKS
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
