Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
