your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Randomize
