He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
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