there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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