Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
