We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Randomize
