sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
True strength comes from lack of pants
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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