woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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