glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Randomize
