Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
