i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
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