I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
