I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Randomize
