On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
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