Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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