i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Randomize
