I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
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