we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
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