I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
you would pick up someone in the library
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
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