He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
