I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
Randomize
