Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Randomize
