Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
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