I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
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