A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Randomize
