i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
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