I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Randomize
