stop calling my apartment porn island.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Randomize
