Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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