Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Randomize
