Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
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