So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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