I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Randomize
