he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Randomize
