THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
you made out with another girl for some wings
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Randomize
