Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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