Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
