I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
Rumble strips road head = magical
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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