I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
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