Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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