Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
