? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
