sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Randomize
