...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize