She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Randomize
