Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Randomize
