I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
