The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
