Fine. I'll sleep in my office
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
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