It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
a search helicopter?!
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
