Sponge bath it is.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
