Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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