Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize