Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
