idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
