nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
I have tasted many bathrooms
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Randomize
