i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
