come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
