How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize