I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Randomize
