She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Randomize
