Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
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