and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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