They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
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