she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
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