Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
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