come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
Randomize
