Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Randomize
