i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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